Take that

This is me [figuratively] punching my confusion in the face.



You don't think I have it in me, huh? Maybe you should talk to my home teacher.

I'm just not exactly going to let my worries and fears control my life! Hiiiiiiiiiiya!

(Hopefully when you read that, it sounded like a ninja noise.)

For the record

Just for the record, there are three books I could read over and over again.

1. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

"It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting...there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure."

2. The Boy Who Dared by Susan Campbell Bartoletti

"My Father in Heaven knows that I have done nothing wrong. I know that God lives and He will be the proper judge of this matter. Until our happy union in a better world, I remain your friend and brother in the gospel."

Watch out. This book, based on the true story of a Hitler Youth, WILL make you cry.

3. Big Russ and Me by Tim Russert.

"The best exercise for the human heart is reaching down to lift someone else up."

SO good!

Teaching is hard.

It's really, honestly hard. It's time consuming. I wake up at 5, plan, get to school by 8, teach until 3:15, plan until 5, come home, eat dinner, and then plan again until 9:30 or 10 and do it all again the next day.

It's not just the time commitment that is hard, though. It's the caring. I care so much about those students. I want them to achieve their full potential, so I'm going to do everything I can to get them there. It's emotionally draining, really.

So it bothers me when people who are not involved in education want to have great debates. I love these quotes I found in the Readers' Digest...

"If we teach small children, don't tell us that our jobs are "so cute" and that you wish you could glue and color all day long."

"We take on the role of Mother, Father, psychologist, friend, and adviser every day. Plus, we're watching for learning disabilities, issues at home, peer pressure, drug abuse, and bullying."

Yeah, there's a lot to think about. So don't argue with me about No Child Left Behind, because I see the repercussions (good and bad) of that act reflected in the eyes of my students every single day.

I don't know everything about education--I'm definitely a rookie teacher--but I know enough and I care a lot. So let's stick to our respective areas of expertise!

Yes. Teaching is hard. But I honestly, truly love it!

EB

So I have this friend. Shocking, I know. I tell him everything, I'm sure more than he would like to hear. And somehow he always knows exactly what to say in response! The best thing is that with one sentence he can both censure and inspire me. How does he do it? Does it have anything to do with the fact that he is British?

Plus, he has nicknamed me Natkat. Does it really get any better than that?

In all seriousness, I am very grateful for a friend who doesn't beat around the bush! There is one piece of advice I try to take daily: "Chill the heck out...twice!"

Halloween...

I loved spending it with my students. Loved the costumes (we had four angry birds, some baseball players, princesses, those creepy people in black robes, and zombies, to name a few), loved seeing their excitement, loved having some mothers come in a put on a little party for the kids...

...didn't necessarily love how crazy the day was. The kids were so excited and happy and it was great, but it was hard to get them to focus.

That's okay, though! They're only 10. I think it's okay for them to have a day at school where their main purpose is to be with people who care about them and have fun.

It was hard for me to get used to that idea, but I did love spending time with my students in a setting other than a math lesson or test or something.

Oh plus, someone brought in a class pet for us on Halloween. Yes, three jumping spiders and a wasp (the wasp was for the spiders to eat). Aren't we lucky??

They're actually pretty cool to look at.

Fall Dance Fest

This isn't a picture of the dance festival--this was at our field trip! Those three ladies are my support system and team at school. They are AMAZING. I am definitely very blessed to be working with them. They are always willing to share ideas, help me think through difficult concepts, give advice, help me calm down and see the bigger picture, and they even have taken care of me when I was sick with a migraine or when I almost fainted in front of my class. They are wonderful and I am so grateful for them!

Anyway...

Today was our school dance festival. For the past month or so, every grade has been practicing and perfecting a dance to perform for the school and parents.

Our fifth graders performed the Ukrainian Koza, which I learned at BYU thanks to the folk dance teachers and that red headed TA that I dated.

The kids were fabulous! I am seriously so proud of them. We worked really long and hard on the dance, and it wasn't easy! They had to switch partners five times! When we performed the dance today, our partnering got a little off but the kids smiled and pretended like nothing was wrong. What troopers!

Even the kids who were incredibly nervous about performing went out and killed the dance! One boy in particular was almost in tears he was so anxious. After talking it through with his mom, we told him he didn't have to dance if he was too scared (even though we wanted him to!) but the choice was his.

As we filed into our seats at the beginning of the festival, I asked him what he was going to do. All he could say was, "I'm thinking...I'm thinking..." and wring his hands. It was so sad! We were the second group to dance. As we got into our circle, this little boy's face was white, his eyes were wide, and I could tell he was terrified.

After the dance we chatted. I told him how proud I was that he got up there and did it, even though it was hard. He could not stop smiling! I loved it so much. He was SO proud that he did it!

I thought this photo was okay to post since it doesn't really show faces, and I'm not using names. You can see him leaning on his knees, deep in thought.

I love that my students do hard things. I love seeing how happy they get when something finally clicks, or when they accomplish something difficult. I love teaching so darn much!

Me and Stephanie at the dance festival. The weather was perfect!!

Dating Don'ts: Part 4

I know I just barely posted 5 minutes ago but I had a "dating don't" pop into my head and I have to post it now or else I'll forget! Ah!

Dating Don't #10: Don't ask me to tell you about my past relationships on a blind date. Because I'm not gonna talk about that stuff with you until I trust you. And I don't trust you on a blind date.

I told you our ward likes to have dance parties.

So, our first stake dance ever was scheduled for this month. Our ward was put in charge, for obvious reasons (think DJ Hawk. No really, I think that's the reason).

We had a BLAST. After a month of planning, we all met at the church yesterday at five...shopped for the food--veggies and candy...set up...glowsticks in balloons hanging from fishing line on the ceiling--awesome. Cut out paper shapes (think Saved By the Bell) to put on the walls--not SO awesome, but still looked pretty cool, especially in our photo booth.

We finished decorating at 8:45, which gave us just enough time to go home, change, and run back to the dance!

The dance was sweet. We had a better turnout than we thought, people actually dressed up, and everyone was WAY into it! It was a success.

The dance ended at 11:45, we cleaned up fairly quickly, and I was in bed by 2am! Just like 7 hours at the church...nbd...it was worth it because it was fun.

My Presidency --I love these girls!

My Presidency + the EQP--we love him SO much.

The 33rd ward group!

Bishop let me wear his white rim sunglasses! It was a just in time, last minute gem. Makes me want to cry.

Our ward with the stellar DJ, Bishop Hawkins.

What a night, and what a ward! Don't want it to change, but I guess that's inevitable!

The truth is...

The truth is that my ward is awesome. One of my best things about my ward is that we know how to party! Specifically, the bishop knows how to party.

Not only can the bishop throw parties, he can DJ! What does that mean?....DANCE PARTIES!

Last week was our Back to School Bash! It was a blast.

Karly and I with the DJ

Karly and I partying!

Spence and I, in what is probably the scariest picture I have ever seen of myself.

I don't know why I couldn't stop making that face! But...it was an awesome party.

Karly and I being ourselves. But with slightly more awkward faces than usual. Probably because of the flash.

If you didn't know...

...I do have a life outside of teaching. I know it doesn't seem like it, because the only thing I can ever talk about is my class and the fun we have, but this is because I am LOVING IT.

It gets so HARD and so DRAINING! But it's so fun. I haven't cried once out of frustration (I did cry one day in class, but only because I was laughing so hard it moved me to tears) and I haven't even been tempted to yell at my class. That's good, right??

I am sooo far from being a perfect teacher, but for now I'm just trying. I'm trying to work on a couple of goals a week. Slow and steady wins the race!

See? I always end up talking about school no matter what!


(Photo Credit: Lincoln. I think)

Something exciting that just happened was our stake luau. My presidency and the EQP performed a dance from Fiji and, well, we basically rocked. At first we were thinking, "What the heck?? We have to perform at a LUAU?!" but eventually we got into the dance and decided to just have fun with it.

BULA!

Shenandoah!

Ooooh man. Such a good movie! This final scene is so good! I just love Jimmy Stewart. Watching Charlie and The Boy sing and cry...touching!

Loving it

It's a little sad, a little liberating, a little weird, a little exciting, and a lot different.

I'm not going to BYU in the fall.

When did I grow up?

But at the same time, I feel like I've been teaching for months (the first week of school is sooo long).

I love my job and I love those kids...I can tell that my love for them will keep increasing the more I get to know them.

I'll never have a first "first week of school" ever again.

I'm glad the only chance I got went so well!

Good thing I took Elder B's advice to "chill the heck out...twice."

Gem of the day

I had the kids fill out a "get to know you" survey for me today.

In response to the "Do you have any pets?" question, one of my little boys wrote the following:

"Yes, two girdles."

Huh?? I'm imagining a corset on a leash....

Pretty sure he meant "gerbils" but spelled it wrong and had a backwards "b." Funny anyway.

School starts Monday. What??

I know that all professions have things that are tough, things that are fun, etc, but I really love this quote.

"If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job."

Donald D. Quinn

Also this:

"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theatre."

Gail Godwin

Poor baby

Dear Car (I think your name is Timothy, but that just doesn't seem quite right),

I missss you. Mostly your air conditioning, your smooth brakes, and your familiarness (not a word. Roll with it). Please come back soon; I'm afraid to drive to Santaquin without you. And don't let this be the impetus for further problems!!

Love,

Me

PS: That temporary white Volkswagen will never take your place!

My Teacher Wish List

I honestly think I need this tape dispenser. My classroom will not be complete without it!

Also on my wish list...time, creativity (I was born with none), perspective, more time, a complete, first two weeks plan, and a chocolate supply.

T minus less than one month

So, as August quickly approaches, I find myself getting more and more and more stressed! Life is getting busy, and there are lots of triggers for stress in my life right now! But there are some things that are keeping a smile on my face.

1. My Bishop's willingness to act as my wing man, and his willingness to let me cry in his office. Haha.

2. This text from the EQP: "Maybe we should get together just to censure each other." So true!

3. This recent poem from EBish.

Oh Natalie, Oh Natalie,

What rhymes with Natalie?

Perhaps fatality, or even Maternity,

How about profanity, or the word calamity?

I know I'd suffer insanity, if it wasn't for Natalie.

Well, life is crazy! But there's always that silver lining!

My job

I don't always love working at the MTC. But now, with only nine days of employment at the good old MTC Bookstore left, I am trying to enjoy it as much as I can.

Two things I am loving right now:

1. WAYNE is in the MTC! He and his wife came in on Monday and have been coming in every morning to say hi and yes, buy some candy to tide them over during class. The other morning I was selling Wayne some Mentos, and for some reason we were talking about the accuracy of body scanners at the airport, and he told me very simply, in his own soft spoken manner, "Well, the Israelis use dogs. That's why they're better than us." Okay then!

2. There is an Elder, we'll call him Elder Payne, who has somehow decided he is very good friends with me and Lexi. He was delayed a week due to the fact that he had to have surgery on his nasal passageway. The day after his surgery, the mail room delivered a note addressed to "the Bookstore employees, Lexi and Natalie. "

"Surgery went well thanks for the well wishes I'll be by thursday when I'm coherent

Elder Payne"

That poor Elder! He did come in later when he was coherent, but first he came in when I'm not so sure he was coherent.

The joys of our employment.

Must Read

The Day the Babies Crawled Away

I just read this picture book, and loved it! I had read another book by this author and loved it, and I was a little confused about this book just from reading the title, but the illustrations are beautiful and the text is fun and charming. Read it!

A Tribute

Happy birthday to one of the most hilarious people I know: my Asian brother, Mark.

My favorite presidents...sorta.

Sometimes I forget how much I love the movie Dave. Also, I'm frequently surprised by how much I love the character of Dave. Man! I love him as president of the United States!

My love for Dave, however, is often challenged by my love for President Whitmore in Independence Day...

A Good Boss

Up until this week, Wayne was the store manager at the MTC Bookstore. I love Wayne; he's kind of like that boss you have who acts as a sort of grandfather. He and his wife are going to serve a mission, which is awesome, but I'll miss him! Things I will miss about Wayne include his corny jokes (A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bar tender says, "Hey. Don't start anything"), his random little jobs (putting bar codes on chopsticks, cleaning old binders), the fact that he is my wing man, and the fact that he indulges some of our whims(National Donut Day, random pizza days).

This picture was taken on one of his last days--he took us to see the new bookstore that is currently under construction. We got in trouble because we weren't wearing the proper footwear, but Wayne gave us the tour anyway (since neither he nor I will be around in the fall to see the finished product!).

My Father's Day Book Pick: Big Russ & Me

It is really so good. If you love your father (which I do, and you should), you will identify with this book. The things Tim Russert says about his own father will resonate inside you, and you will be filled with overwhelming love and appreciation for your father, your mother, and those who had a hand in raising you to be the person you are today.

If you don't love your father (shame on you), this book will help you learn to love the person your father is. I know it sounds weird, because it's a book about someone else's dad, but I truly think this book is amazing.

I loved, loved, loved this book. Maybe it won't change your life, but it changed mine for the better! My dad introduced me to this book :)

My Best Friend's Wedding

It was beautiful and wonderful and I am SO happy for Brad and Karlee! I love them both so much. I love them so much I cried all through the little tribute I tried to give at their wedding luncheon (I am my father's daughter :)! They are perfect for each other and I wish them the best in the years to come!


The night before the wedding reception, at our makeshift Bachelor/Bachelorette party...yeah....we went to Maverick...


Haley, Karlee, and me at the reception. It's too bad Janna couldn't be there, but we're so glad she's happy in London!


Don't they look so happy? I love it!


I love her so much. I am so grateful for all the support she has given to me throughout the years. Her friendship means so much to me! And she looked absolutely beautiful!

Dating Don'ts: Part 3!

Click here for Parts One and Two!

7. Do not send a text, meant for your mother, about your date, to your date. Especially not if that text is calling your date "fickle."

8. Don't honk/text/call your date when you get to her house. Go to the door. According to Paul Hennessy (one of the greatest TV dads of all time!!), Rule One states: "If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure as heck not picking anything up."

9. Do not invite your date to a family activity where you refuse to speak to or even make eye contact with her. Do bring her home from said activity before 2:30 AM. Do inform your date if you're so angry you can't ever speak to her again.

It probably sounds like I have a lot of bad dating experiences...I really don't; it's actually quite hard for me to come up with these "don'ts" sometimes. But rest assured, I know from personal experience that you shouldn't do any of these things on dates.

Somewhere in the crowd there's you.

Noelle and I made this video the summer before she left on her mission. So many good memories!

Hope of America

Of course I took the EQP with me to see Hope of America. We sat in the very front row...



Right behind Elder Lund and his wife (stalker picture, Josh took it)...



And Noah Hartsock and his cohorts.





See that red stripe standing up with their arms in the air? Those are my Orchard Hills kids. I love them so much. They give me hope in my abilities as a teacher, because they were so sweet, kind, loving, forgiving, and understanding. Teaching them during the month of March changed my life. I fell in love with teaching all over again. It's hard. I'm definitely not perfect, but seeing the light in the kid's faces lets me know there's no turning back. I am going to do whatever it takes to be the best teacher I can be. And I know the kids are going to help me along, because they're so awesome

But oh boy I'm overwhelmed!

Missionaries

So, a lot of my really good friends are on missions right now; it's so great! Unfortunately I'm not the best pen-pal, but I just love that my friends are so awesome :) They are all fabulous missionaries, I'm sure!


I'm a little bit late on this, but Sister Mills is going to be an awesome missionary!! I'll miss her, but this is what she's been talking about since we were kids playing Barbies! Go Jan!!



And then there's Hannah, Noelle, Matt, and Mark! Yes, they used to be my desktop background. I love reading their weekly emails and blogs--Mark's especially, because he's such a hilarious writer. Cracks me up!



Last but not least, Elder B. (no, that is not him, but it's how I imagine he looked with a beard)! His emails kill me because he's hilarious, plus he's British, so I am constantly learning some new vocab. Like "chuffed." Just awesome!

I don't see a rainbow, do you?

I feel like I'm treading water right where the riptide is the strongest.

"Death by drowning comes following exhaustion while fighting the river or ocean current...a swimmer in a strong rip...should relax and calmly float or tread water to conserve energy. Eventually the rip will lose strength and the swimmer can swim...away from the rip and back to shore." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riptide)

Huh, really? "Relax" really is the answer?!

Done! I think I can do that! After this Sunday.

How I'm feeling...again.

"It's knowing what they want of me that scares me. It's knowing having followed, I must lead. It's knowing that each person there compares me to those in my past whom I now succeed. But how can whatever I do for them now be enough?"

Luckily, the EQP and I kinda feel as though we've been prepared to serve together in this capacity. And, as he says, we're going to hit the ground running on this. We spent last night talking strategy and we're ready for the game to start. Tomorrow night we'll hit the court.

I just hope that I can be loving and compassionate!

"I know expectations are wild and almost beyond my fulfillment, but they won't hear a word of a doubt or see signs of weakness. My nigh on impossible duty is clear. If I can rekindle my ancestor's dreams, it's enough."

Done. Finished.

I'm pleased to announce that I am finished with finals and with my undergrad coursework (with the exception of children's lit, which I am currently taking through independent study...)!

It definitely feels weird--I think it was just yesterday that I finished my first official day of college.

Yep! There I am, on my very first day of college!


And here I am on my very last day of finals. I'm leaving the BYU Cougars to becoming a full-fledged Orchard Hills Cougar! Wooohoo!

(I won't technically graduate until April 2012, so stay tuned for that...)

I have loved studying at BYU, and while I'm excited to teach this fall, I'm a little bit sad about leaving my school behind. But I've learned so much, and had so many "life experiences" that have been added to my resume...I'm grateful for my time at school.

And I'm ready to start this next phase of my life!

The Little Boy by Helen Buckley

I am going to post a poem here, and it's a long poem, but it's worth reading. I'm excited to teach, but also feeling overwhelmed. But I know, I am going to do everything in my power to avoid being the first teacher in this poem.

Also, I think I am going to make a separate blog for teaching, and I'll probably make it a private one just so I will feel more comfortable posting about my experience as a teacher. Soooo if you want an invitation to that blog, seriously just let me know, because if I know you I probably trust you, and I'll not have a problem granting you access to that blog :)

And now...the poem.

"Once a little boy went to school.
He was quite a little boy
And it was quite a big school.
But when the little boy
Found that he could go to his room
By walking right in from the door outside
He was happy;
And the school did not seem
Quite so big anymore.

One morning
When the little boy had been in school awhile,
The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make a picture."
"Good!" thought the little boy.
He liked to make all kinds;
Lions and tigers,
Chickens and cows,
Trains and boats;
And he took out his box of crayons
And began to draw.

But the teacher said, "Wait!"
"It is not time to begin!"
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
"Now," said the teacher,
"We are going to make flowers."
"Good!" thought the little boy,
He liked to make beautiful ones
With his pink and orange and blue crayons.
But the teacher said "Wait!"
"And I will show you how."
And it was red, with a green stem.
"There," said the teacher,
"Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at his teacher's flower
Then he looked at his own flower.
He liked his flower better than the teacher's
But he did not say this.
He just turned his paper over,
And made a flower like the teacher's.
It was red, with a green stem.

On another day
When the little boy had opened
The door from the outside all by himself,
The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make something with clay."
"Good!" thought the little boy;
He liked clay.
He could make all kinds of things with clay:
Snakes and snowmen,
Elephants and mice,
Cars and trucks
And he began to pull and pinch
His ball of clay.

But the teacher said, "Wait!"
"It is not time to begin!"
And she waited until everyone looked ready.
"Now," said the teacher,
"We are going to make a dish."
"Good!" thought the little boy,
He liked to make dishes.
And he began to make some
That were all shapes and sizes.

But the teacher said "Wait!"
"And I will show you how."
And she showed everyone how to make
One deep dish.
"There," said the teacher,
"Now you may begin."

The little boy looked at the teacher's dish;
Then he looked at his own.
He liked his better than the teacher's
But he did not say this.
He just rolled his clay into a big ball again
And made a dish like the teacher's.
It was a deep dish.

And pretty soon
The little boy learned to wait,
And to watch
And to make things just like the teacher.
And pretty soon
He didn't make things of his own anymore.

Then it happened
That the little boy and his family
Moved to another house,
In another city,
And the little boy
Had to go to another school.
This school was even bigger
Than the other one.
And there was no door from the outside
Into his room.
He had to go up some big steps
And walk down a long hall
To get to his room.
And the very first day
He was there,
The teacher said:
"Today we are going to make a picture."
"Good!" thought the little boy.
And he waited for the teacher
To tell what to do.
But the teacher didn't say anything.
She just walked around the room.

When she came to the little boy
She asked, "Don't you want to make a picture?"
"Yes," said the lttle boy.
"What are we going to make?"
"I don't know until you make it," said the teacher.
"How shall I make it?" asked the little boy.
"Why, anyway you like," said the teacher.
"And any color?" asked the little boy.
"Any color," said the teacher.
"If everyone made the same picture,
And used the same colors,
How would I know who made what,
And which was which?"
"I don't know," said the little boy.
And he began to make a red flower with a green stem."

I am pleased to announce...

...that I have been hired to teach at Orchard Hills Elementary School in Santaquin, Utah!! I'm so happy and grateful to have received this internship! I will either be teaching second or fifth grade!

Today was my last day teaching in the fifth grade class. Sad :( BUT! I will be teaching next year at the same school so I'll still be able to see the kids. :)

As a going away gift, a little girl in my class got me this awesome pajama set. I love it already.

They are Chip and Dale, if you couldn't tell!! Haha. How cute.


Also, I received this ring.



Fabulous.

Just a few things

#1. Aside from the pain, the worst part about a broken foot is not being able to do any sort of meaningful exercise (specifically Zumba). I tried water aerobics today and pretty much failed...I am trying to be healthier! But it's hard when you can't put your foot on the ground.

Also, doing Zumba in a boot is TIRING and HARD.

#2. The second worst part of having a broken foot is driving. I have learned to drive wearing my boot, but it's hard because my right leg is pretty much immobile--I can't move my ankle to press on the gas, so I have to use the weight of my whole leg to press the pedal. And then I just control the brakes with my left foot. It's a little complicated.

#3. I LOVE TEACHING. And I LOVE fifth grade.

#4. Happy birthday Brent!!! We celebrated at Joe Bandido's last night...very fun and very good. Picture to come, possibly, if I steal one from Joel's facebook again.

#5. I love this baby. She belongs to someone in my home ward and my mom watched her a couple of days last week. SO cute!

What a cutie

There are many reasons why I love teaching, and there are many reasons why I love the 5th grade class I'm in right now! Here is something way cute that happened today.

So, I have to be formally observed by my BYU professors once a week. Since this is the first week of practicum, my mentor teacher has been preparing the kids so they know that one day this week, I will be formally evaluated on how well I teach.

Today a little boy (we'll call him Taylor) walked in the classroom and said, "Miss Murray, is today the day that you get observed?" I said, "No, that's tomorrow."

Taylor breathed a huuuge sigh of relief and said, "Oh, good!" We were confused, so my mentor teacher asked him, "Why is it a good thing that Miss Murray isn't being observed today?"

"Because!" Taylor exclaimed. "I'm just not prepared today!"

It was so cute. I'm glad to know my students are helping me prepare for my observation :)

Some VERY good news!

My best friend is getting MARRIED!!! Congratulations, Karlee and Brad!

Yay :) It's selfish of me, but I'm glad Brad had to work the night after he and Kar got engaged, because it meant I got to spend part of that way happy day with her! And don't worry, I cried like four times :)

Happy birthday, Spencer!!

And happy belated birthday Dr. Suess.

So, in honor of Spencer's birthday, Davies leaving the team, and Mariel wanting FatBooth...I give you this post.

I'm signed up for an institute class. Spencer graciously goes with me so I don't have to go alone. Lately, though, we've been having a hard time going. Last night we decided to watch the BYU game! We wanted to cheer our cougars on to victory!!

Unfortunately, within the first 15 minutes we knew the game was a lost cause.

Sad.

We then began playing with our phones and my iPod. Mariel kept trying to get me to download FatBooth, but I was thinking: why do I want something that makes me look fat? Anyway, I could probably do that on my own.

Trying to look fat.

Eventually we were running out of things to explore on our phones, and the game was too painful to concentrate on (seriously, one of the cameramen for the game was texting me. If the camera guys are texting, you know the game is bad).

Soooo I did it. I downloaded FatBooth.

And here are the results.

Yeah...

My Quandary

So here's the problem: I really want this hair.
But I am kind of loving growing my hair out. I can't explain how I feel, because I kind of like my length now.but I'm to the point where I want a change (no breakup this time, I just feel like something new!)!

I already know what my friends and family will say--don't cut it!!

But hair grows, right? Right?!

Also I need to color my hair on account of my genetics. I'm going gray. Every day I look in the mirror I see more gray hairs.

What should I do?!