Must it all be either less or more, either plain or grand?

Okay, I should definitely be studying right now, but I am just too sick of school. So I thought I'd drop in on my blog and post two random things.

#1: Today I was severely lacking in the social skills department. I didn't feel like talking to people, and when I did interact with others, I couldn't seem to say what I was thinking. It resulted in me sounding like this for most of the time: "Um, you can...well, what I mean...I'm sorry, I just-I can't really talk today-ah, I guess what I'm trying to say is yes."

#2: Random picture.I was the first girl on the Elison side.

Like an old pair of shoes

Last night I wanted to wear my pink slippers but I couldn't find them. So, I was forced to wear my white Little Mary slippers. As soon as I put them on, "Mata Hari" started playing through my head and hasn't stopped since. I guess it's pretty fitting, since lately I feel like I have been acting like Mata Hari-I'm just not as extreme as she once was.

She was a spy by trade, you know...

How wonderfully welcoming

I love the first ward. I really do. It's just that I feel like I've been having awkward experiences there lately...

*Warning: This blog may sound corny. I don't mean to be cheesy, but it's just my thoughts for the night.

Today I said the closing prayer in sacrament meeting. I thought it was funny since I'm not even in that ward anymore...what, do people think I took a year long hiatus and finally decided to come back to church? No, it was good. It felt like the ward was welcoming me back, saying to me, "We didn't forget about you! We still love you! Be one of us!"

After the meeting I suddenly felt so visible. Random people were coming and talking to me (Karlee can attest to this). It was weird because they would call me by name, we'd have a somewhat normal conversation, and I would walk away saying, "I have no idea who that person is". It was like everyone suddenly knew me. Odd, but it felt so natural to be back. Even though everyone (besides our little crew) was a stranger to me. It was a nice feeling, going back there.

Please pass the Dramamine...

It's exciting feeling like my world is tilted to the right.

It's interesting having to reorient myself every time I turn my head.

It's fun feeling the Earth move underneath my feet every time I take a step.

It's fantastic falling over for no apparent reason...

It's great getting sea sick just from walking across campus.

Hooray for Eustachian tube disorders!

Boring

I KNOW my blog has been boring lately. Okay? I'm sorry. I have been wishing that I had something funny to post about lately but I'm just not feeling creative. At this moment I just feel like posting a text I got from JS today.

"Attention! 48 U.S. hours until bodacious birthday brick oven party time! Hold for super happy fun, please."

Yeah, it really made me laugh. I wish I could be that funny even when sending a simple text.

Random picture of January 2009

Once again I am lacking interesting things to blog about, so here is a picture. Guess who these rocker feet belong to. The person who guesses correctly can...decide what I should blog about next (I don't know, it sounded good in my head).

Stay tuned for an inevitable exciting blog that will be appearing at the end of the week.

Emotional Support

Summer 2005

I did the math

I added up all the hours I worked at the MTC before I left for the summer and I realized that it only added up to five weeks worth of time. That is only .48% of my life (these numbers are very, very generalized, since I didn't actually want to add up every single day I have worked. I guessed, and I know I've worked more than 5 weeks 24/7 at the bookstore because I didn't count any of the time from this school year).

Anyway, I've spent less time in the MTC than Elders who go Spanish speaking spend there, and I've worked at the bookstore for over a year and a half. Wow.

Also, I have a funny quote of the day.

Elder: "Hey! Um, can I hit on you?"
Me: "What?! No!"
Elder: "Haha, just kidding! Hahaha. Can I actually get a Russian dictionary?"

Where did you come from?

On Sunday I went to President Monson's fireside with my old singles ward. I think I left my heart there when I moved. Anyway...after the fireside, Karlee, Brad, Amanda and I were sitting together and talking when some guy (who must be a recent RM and new to the ward) came up to us, stared at me, and said, "Where did you come from?" Now, you can interpret this two different ways as a reader. The first way would be like he was saying it to a lost puppy. "Oh, you're so cute and sweet and lost! Where did you come from?" The second, and correct way to interpret, is like this, "Who are you, where did you come from, and why in the world did you come here?"

I was taken aback by this question. I sat silently for a split second as I tried to analyze his personality so I could decide what sort of response to give. Well, I was born in Orem, but I live in Provo now. My ancestors are from Scotland though...or, if you want to get more abstract, my height and most of my features are from my dad. My nose came from my mom. Most of my mannerisms today come from Josh Schultze...etc.

Luckily for the man asking the question, Brad (who is like an older brother to me despite the fact we were betrothed for 14 years and the world was shocked when I called off our engagement a few years ago) jumped in and saved me from answering. "She's from Heaven!" He declared.

"Thanks, Brad" I muttered as the guy kept staring at me. Finally I turned to him and said, "I grew up in the third ward, if that's what you're asking." And then he walked away.

It was a little odd.

The Turbo Story

In order to dispel any alarm my last post may have caused, I have been trying to think of something clever, witty, happy, and carefree to say, but I'm not feeling very interesting lately, so I decided to post an experience I wrote up for Jarom last year. It probably will mean nothing to many of you, but it was funny at the time.

"So, previous to this story, I had seen Tony a couple of times. Each time he was so happy, enthusiastic, smiley, etc. Yesterday, he came in and just started talking to me. I’ll give you the whole story. Some of it I already told you, but I like telling the whole thing :). This is how it went:

Tony: (as happy and perky and upbeat as could be) Hey, Natalie.

Me: Hello, Elder Rawlins.

Tony: (slightly suggestively, you know what I’m talking about) So…how’s Grant?

Me: (expecting him to ask about someone else) I, uh….who? Grant? Um…good? I don’t know, Grant and I aren’t exactly the best of friends…I barely know Grant…

Tony: Oh, I thought…you were really good friends…

Me: Um, I took him to Morp-

Tony: As a pity date?

Me: No, I like Grant! I just don’t know him very well.

Tony: Oh. Well, how’s Rachel?

Me: Good! I saw her the other night! She’s doing well.

Tony: Good. Tell her that if she wants me to write her, she needs to write me first and give me her address.

Me: Okay, I’ll tell her.

Tony: Let’s see, who else do I know that you know?

Me: Elder! We went to high school together! Who do you know that I don’t?

Tony: Tell Jarom he’s freakishly tall.

Me: That’s mean. Besides, I am freakishly tall.

Tony: No, Jarom really is extremely tall. Well, where’s my companion? We have to go. We’re 20 minutes late to class.

Me: Uh, why were you just standing here talking to me when you were that late to class?

Tony: It’s been…quite a day…quite a different…day…

Me: By the way, I’m supposed to call you Elder Turbo.

Tony: (suddenly angry, or some emotion like that) No! That is against mission rules! You can’t call me that! Who is your manager? I could have you fired right now!

Then he grabbed his companion and stormed away.

And that is the Turbo story."

Yeah, not too exciting, I know. Hang in there and I'll think of something good to say.

In life

There is no such thing as waiting for the storm to pass. In order to get where you need to go, you've got to throw on your rain jacket and walk through the wind and the rain, even if it feels like a slap in the face. There is no other way to learn and to progress and to accomplish the necessary tasks, whatever they may be. The song from Carousel says "When you walk through a storm, keep your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark..." It does not say "If you happen to walk through a storm, keep your head up high...".

"Walk on through the mist, walk on through the rain-though your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone!"

I'm sorry I can't always be perfect and kind and good, but I'm trying. I'm trying not to open that Pandora's box. You know, "Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away...you zing them. Hello, I'm Mr. Nasty" (You've Got Mail. I'm sure it was on the tip of your tongue, dear Reader).

In other, less random news, today I was talking to my best friend (under contract) Josh Schultze. And, let me tell you, this Best Friend of mine really pulls through. Terrific and funny guy. So we spent a couple of hours chatting in the clerk's office and after I had said something that upset him he stopped me, turned almost serious (it's a difficult tast for him) and said, "Natalie, stop. That thought is coming straight from outer darkness. It belongs there, not with you. Send it back! Natalie Murray, send that thought back." What a gem of a best friend.

This is really random/odd

The other day I was helping a missionary who must have been wearing a fair amount of cologne. He smelled good, but the smell of his cologne somehow reminded me of a clogging competition. Seriously, this was my train of thought: This Elder smells good...clogging competition. What? A clogging competition? Why does that smell reminded me of clogging?

I was never able to figure out what about his smell reminded me of competitions...there are a few smells that inevitably bring to mind clogging competitions (such as Rave hairspray), but cologne...that's a new one.

Laser tag injuries

I'm feeling rather disconcerted right now- for whatever reason- and I can't go to bed. So you will be graced with another blog.

As previously mentioned, the Elison clan went laser tagging the Saturday after Christmas. I somehow received a bruise on the back of my arm. I had the following conversation at work.

Me: Gideon, I got a bruise from laser tagging.
Gideon: Wow, you are so delicate that a laser will burst your blood vessels? Oh! So that's how you broke your foot. You probably went outside and the sun's rays concentrated on the top of your foot and it just shattered, right?

Gideon thinks he's clever. Anyway, thinking of laser tagging makes me remember the scariest laser tagging experience ever-grad night. We were playing a great game of war-like laser tag in the gym, with all the lights off, when I looked up and saw my dear Jarom standing in the doorway with blood gushing from his head. His arms were all bloody. It was so scary! Of course I ditched my gear and ran into the hallway to provide some emotional support. His left temple had totally taken a beating and he ended up with a huge scab and bruise. Yikes. I went to Disneyland the next week and bought him an eye patch to cover the injury. Good times.

Another problem

As has been previously mentioned, I have a problem with blushing. It happens at random times and normally for no apparent reason. Now, I also have another problem which is the opposite of blushing-I pale.

I pale fairly easily-though not as easily as I blush. I thought there was only one situation (not related to being sick) under which my face loses all its blood, but I had an experience at the beginning of last fall semester that proved me wrong.

I'm still trying to figure out why my face will suddenly pale. It happens when I am startled by another person. Not startled as in they jumped out of nowhere yelling "Boo!" but startled as in I did not expect/want to see them or something they said momentarily surprised me.

Once in the MTC I had an extreme paling experience (I know why) and the minute I paled I looked in a mirror that was right in front of me and...I looked like death. I honestly did. My face was ghost white, my eyes were dark, and I thought I was going to faint.

It's an embarrassing problem.

A little note

Those of you who are not my family may say that I am a generally mild mannered person. But sometimes I will choose a subject to be outspoken about. The other week we went laser tagging and the guy kept making comments about how men were superior to women. I accidentally spoke out about that, which made me reminisce about my junior year PE class. I won't mention names, but I will share examples of what class was like most of the time.

PE teacher would teach a skill. For example: Catching a baseball.

PE teacher: "Everyone who feels comfortable with/is good at this skill go start a game. Girls, come over here."

PE teacher would then reteach the skill in simplified terms.

PE teacher: "Okay, girls, go join the game! Holly and Natalie, come over here. I'll help you a bit. Okay...maybe we can break it down into different moves, like a dance! I'll teach you a dance. Listen to me and watch what I do. Step step catch, step step throw."

Holly and I [to each other]: "Seriously? Is this really happening?"

So, the class was weird, but I left the class better than I started because I left with an amazing friend: Holly Marie Nelson. We have had so many hilarious and fun adventures and she is just such a great friend!