Careless and unthinking, I moved onward.

And in my twisted face, there's not the slightest trace of anything that even hints at kindness. And from my tortured shape, no comfort, no escape. I see, but deep within is utter blindness. Hopeless, as my dream dies. As the time flies--love a lost illusion. Helpless. Unforgiven. Cold and driven to this sad conclusion...

Let the world be done with me.

The babe

Well, the babe and I have been together since June 2009. I watched him learn to walk, talk (in English and Spanish), and sing new songs. I taught him the word "no" (whoops). I watched his imagination develop. I saw his love for bells and bears grow. We wandered through museums together. We watched many bowling games.

I looked forward to seeing him every day, and he was always happy to see me as well. We had many adventures together. I've held on to that babe and cried sorrows away more than once. He was always the first person I told when good things happened. We love each other.

Stupid practicum.

The babe just called me and we had a good chat. It was his bedtime, but after about ten minutes it became apparent he wasn't going to hang up the phone. It was up to me to say goodbye and just hang up.

The hardest part was that he kept saying, "tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, bells tomorrow" and I had to tell him, "No, later, we'll see each other later". I don't want him to think I've abandoned him! I don't want him to forget about me. Because I'll never forget him!

Positive Reflection

I have had a hard week. For tonight's blog, however, I decided to try something called "positive thinking" (if you have had a hard week, like me, you may need to look up the definition--www.dictionary.com).

Two things saved my day.

The best thing about my day: lunch with Jarom.


The second best thing about my day: having a whole bag of chocolate kisses in my backpack. All to myself.One more bright thing: we finally received our practicum placements (practicum starts on Tuesday). I am going to be in a first grade classroom at Barnett Elementary! Whoo...wish me luck--I'm gonna need it!

I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T BLOG ABOUT THIS

(Sidenote: Lately I have been loving the use of random, capital words. I know, I know, it's like yelling. Sorry.)

I can't even remember when this happened--sometime toward the beginning of this semester? I went to Lagoon with the Vogel's (it was so fun, by the way) and (are you ready for this?) I actually went on roller coasters. Yes, it's true. I, Natalie K Murray, went on Wicked, the white old one, and the Samurai! I can't remember if there were any other scary ones. AND I didn't even cry (although I was close to tears right as Wicked started to move down the track).

It felt great, not because I love the thrill of roller coasters, but because I faced a fear.

That's two fears I have faced within the past few months. I rode on an airplane without having a panic attack (I actually loved it) and I went on some scary rides! My life is seriously changing, because now I realize that I can do hard and scary things. Yes!

Waiting in line for Wicked!

8 simple rules for dating my teenage daughter.

This family:

Is actually very similar to my family (in terms of personality):

And we love them almost as much as we love each other. I can't even describe how much I love sitting with my family, watching the Hennessys. The best similarity is my dad and Paul Hennessy. Oh boy.

Paul's final article: "Okay readers, today we're having a little pop quiz, it's multiple choice, so sharpen your number 2 pencils and put your thinking caps on. Ready? Here's a quote: "Dad, you're an idiot." Now, contestants, this was said to me because of which of the following transgressions? A: Coming to the breakfast table wearing pajamas and black socks? B: Asking my oldest daughter if that guy I saw her talking to yesterday at school was her boyfriend? C: Referring to rapper Fiddy Cent as "Fifty Cents"? or D: Entering the room? Okay, pencils down. Actually it was a trick question. The answer is all of the above. Now do you know how many times I called my father an idiot? Zero. Why? Because I feared him. Back then we didn't share our deep personal feelings, our deepest conversations usually revolved around the tigers bull pen. But my kids, I can't get them to shut up! There's not a feeling that my kids are afraid to express over and over and over. And my wife reassures me this is a good thing over and over and over, and she's always right. So do I wish that my kids feared me? Well my house would be quieter, and I'd spend a lot less time in the bathroom, but no. Because I know that whenever they insult me whether it's a "You're an idiot," "You're a geek," or an "I hate you," an "I love you" isn't far behind. And it's the knowledge that my wife and kids love me that makes it safe for me to wear pajamas and black socks to the breakfast table."