My optometrist Paul!...er, Bill.

I love eye doctors. I mean really, who wants to walk around having trouble seeing? Not me. I'm grateful for the service they provide.

However (of course there was going to be a 'however'. I don't generally go around giving random, glowing praise of doctors), it's a little awkward. They're like, literally in your face the whole time. And I feel like I'm violating their personal space. "Stare at my ear" so I proceed to stare at his ear for like, 5 minutes. They would have to be pretty self assured, to be able to have strangers staring at body parts such as ears.

And what's with all their certificates on the wall? My eye doctor is a member of the "Achievement Club". I mean, what is that? A place where a bunch of doctors get together and...achieve? I don't know.

Plus, I had to listen to a half-hour lecture on silicon hydrogel contact lenses. The pros, the cons, the reasons why you should and should not wear them, etc. It was a pointless discussion. I'm sorry, Doctor, but I just don't care. All I want is a prescription!

And I always feel weird, like they're judging me. "Which one is better? One...or two?" uh...two? No, I don't know? What if I say the wrong thing on accident, or what if I can't really tell and give the wrong answer? And then it totally skews my prescription? haha, I just think it's funny.

Sorry if this was mean. But I got new glasses! Hopefully they're the right prescription...

Well, okay. The much awaited ending to the Little Dog Turpie story.

And all that was left of little dog Turpie was a stump.

Hm. Kinda funny.

Tonight we were watching Newsies, and Nathan and Nicole came over. I do love them.

I decided I wanted some peach (not pink) sherbet, so I went into the kitchen to get myself a bit (Now, lately I have been having the same problem I had in Nauvoo, but today it was so much worse. I have been dropping everything. Frustrating).

I tried getting the ice cream lid off. It fell on the floor. I picked it up and started scooping my ice cream. It fell on the table. When I picked up the ice cream, I knocked my spoon to the ground. Then some more ice cream fell on the table. I am not exaggerating. So, I was a little bit annoyed.

In my frustration, I muttered-well, more like angrily shouted (okay not shouted, but almost), "I just have a bad life!" *disclaimer: I do not really believe this to be true. I love my life, but I was a little mad at the time*

"Oh, whatever!" Nicole called to me (in a nice way, not an annoyed way).

Nathan looked over at me, his kind, loving, brotherly face covered with concern. "What? You think you have a bad life?"

"No!" Nicole laughed. "She thinks she's going to be a bad wife."

I love you, Nicole. That made my life perfect. Seriously, hilarious.

The story of Little Dog Turpie

Back in 2000, Dan Wheeler would tell my sisters and I this story. I would beg him not to tell my sisters because I thought it was so morbid and it would probably give them nightmares and ruin their lives. But he'd tell it. Every day.

ONCE there was an old man and woman and a little girl, and they all lived in a house made of hempstalks. Now the old man had a little dog named Turpie and one night the Hobyahs came and said, 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the old man and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off his tail.' So in the morning the old man cut off little dog Turpie's tail.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said, 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the old man and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off one of his legs.' So in the morning the old man cut off one of little dog Turpie's legs.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said, 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the old man and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off another of his legs.' So in the morning the old man cut off another of little dog Turpie's legs.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the old man and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off another of his legs.' So in the morning the old man cut off another of little dog Turpie's legs.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the oldman and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off another of his legs.' So in the morning the old man cut off another of little dog Turpie's legs.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the oldman and woman, and carry off the little girl!' But little dog Turpie barked so that the Hobyahs ran off; and the old man said, 'Little dog Turpie barks so that I cannot sleep nor slumber, and if I live till morning I will cut off little dog Turpie's head.' So in the morning the old man cut off little dog Turpie' s head.

The next night the Hobyahs came again, and said 'Hobyah! Hobyah! Hobyah! Tear down the hempstalks, eat up the old man and woman, and carry off the little girl!' And when the Hobyahs found that little dog Turpie's head was off they tore down hempstalks, ate up the woman, and carried the a bag. And when the Hobyahs came to their home they hung up the bag with the little girl in it, and every Hobyah knocked on the top of the bag and said, 'Look me! look me!' And then they went to sleep until the next night, for the Hobyahs slept in the daytime.

The little girl cried a great deal, and a man with a big dog came that way and heard her crying. When he asked her how she came there and she told him, he put the dog in the bag and took the little girl to his home.

The next night the Hobyahs took down the bag and knocked at the top of it, and said 'Look me, look me!' and when they opened the bag the big dog jumped out and ate them all up; so there are no Hobyahs now.

Where the quotes came from

"I wish I had a million dollars...hot dog!"
-It's a Wonderful Life

"If I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know."
-"Carry on my Wayward Son" by Kansas

"Say, brainless, don't you know where coconut comes from?"
-It's a Wonderful Life

"Atta boy, Luther!"
-The Ghost and Mr. Chicken

"What a trooper."
-some random episode of the X Files

"...perpetual spree!"
-Scrooge

"Oh...I was just about to say nasty!"
-Scrooge

"He's a bandit!"
-Scrooge

"You don't know, or you can't say?"
-Dave

"Go, go, go!"
-Dave

"In words, no. But in a change of nature, yes."
-Scrooge

Yes, they are mainly from random, old movies. My favorite movies, actually.

A quote from Oliver!

"If you are lonely
Then you will know...

When someone needs you,
You love them so.

I won't betray his trust...
Though people say I must.

I've got to stay true, just
As long as he needs me."

I listened to this soundtrack today. The lady who sings this song has a tendency to go flat. Anyway, that's all. Just thought I'd...share that useful bit of information! haha.

My favorite quotes...currently

If you can name where all the quotes come from, you get a...box of junior mints.

"I wish I had a million dollars...hot dog!"

"If I claim to be a wise man, it surely means that I don't know."

"Say, brainless, don't you know where coconut comes from?"

"Atta boy, Luther!"

"What a trooper."

"...perpetual spree!"

"Oh...I was just about to say nasty!"

"He's a bandit!"

"You don't know, or you can't say?"

"Go, go, go!"

"In words, no. But in a change of nature, yes."

I take that back. If you can say where 5 of them come from, you get a box of junior mints. Some of them are pretty random.

Quote of the week!

*while arguing about a pocket watch*
...with butter and jam!

-Shawn Lynn