A selfish profession

I am referring here to acting. Now before I get people mad at me, let me just say that I'm not trying to say acting is evil. That's not it at all. I mean, I love the theater, and I've done a bit of acting in my life. What I am trying to say is that acting is all about appearances. That makes it selfish. As an actor, you're constantly worrying about how you came across, how you sounded, and how you looked.

Think about auditions. You generally don't go into an audition thinking, 'Wow, that girl who auditioned for the same part as I did is really good. I hope she gets the part of Laurie!' No. Usually you are thinking, 'I hope I sing my best and do my cold read the best so I can get the part of Laurie.' Is there anything wrong with this? We need to decide where to draw the line. You, as an actor, need to decide just how diva-esque you are going to be.

If you're going to make it as an actor, you need to be a little selfish. No one is going to cast someone who doesn't care how they come across, how they read their lines, or how they sing. When you go to auditions, you can't just give your part away to other people because you are being unselfish. Perhaps this shouldn't be called selfish, but it kinda is.

Sometimes, actors start getting so selfish that they will do anything for that solo or that monologue, or do anything to have more lines because they are the best. This is when selfish starts getting too selfish. So it's up to us. Where will we as a theater community draw the line?

The other night my grandpa was hurt because of a selfish actor. During one of their shows, Tony was trying so hard to act distraught about Maria's death that he was shaking poor old Doc more violently than he should have. My grandpa fell down because of that. Despite frequent pleas to shake him softly, Tony forgot about the person who he was playing opposite and became too immersed in his own character. (By the way, I'm being selfish about acting right now because I'm mad at Tony for hurting my grandpa.)

In this same production, an audience member's nice leather cowboy hat and coat were ruined because the actors wanted to come across as real as possible, so they used fake blood. Unfortunately, it got out of hand and into the audience. That man was so mad!

So, acting is selfish. But it can be two different kinds of selfish: selfish for the benefit of the show itself, or selfish for the benefit of one's self.

What an honor...

"The Ragan Theater Showcase Award: an opportunity for UVSC to acknowledge and highlight the talents and accomplishmets of college, community, and high school achievments in the arts." Syd Riggs is a previous recipient of this award. This year, the award's recipient was my grandfather. But the award turned out to be more work than recognition.

Last August when my grandpa first told me he was going to receive this award, I was so excited! I was thinking, They're finally going to recognize the person who makes the most difference in fine arts. That's what we all were thinking. My grandpa, being the type of person he is, wasn't very thrilled. He was flattered, I'm sure, but he's not the type who needs to be recognized. He'd rather not be in the spotlight. That's why he directs: to give others a chance. My excitement just increased when my grandpa told me they asked him to direct Little Mary Sunshine, our favorite show, for the award showcase. My grandpa wasn't sure he'd be able to do it because he was directing A Christmas Carol at the time that rehearsals for Little Mary would start, but he accepted anyway.

And then the work began.

The first step was casting the show. Auditions are really hard, so my grandpa hand picked his cast. He chose the people who he thought would be the best in the various roles. After he had it all cast, we had to start having rehearsals.

We couldn't rehearse at UVSC until one week before opening, so it was up to my grandpa to find somewhere else to practice. Another aspect of rehearsals was finding a music director, a choreographer, and rehearsal accompanists. Usually, you have to pay these people, even for community theater. But, my grandpa didn't have any sort of a budget for these things. He was doing all this volunteer work for his own award, after all. Luckily, there are people who love my grandpa enough to help him, even without pay. I got to be the rehearsal accompanist.

The set needed to be built. So, my grandpa built the set. T came and helped us. She's an amazing set designer and a wonderful painter. T and my grandpa make a good team. Together, and with a little help from the cast and Orem's stage craft classes, they built a beautiful set. It took a long time though, and my grandpa isn't as spry as he once was, but somehow he kept up. He also found costumes for the whole cast.

My mom and my aunt volunteered to play the piano for Little Mary. The score was originally written for two pianos, and then later was transcribed for performance with an orchestra. My aunt and my mom have played for Little Mary before, and they did it again. It sounds better with two pianos then with an orchestra.

Somehow, my grandpa managed to keep going through all of this. He was directing two shows at once, teaching classes at Orem High, building sets for his two shows and for Orem's shows, but he never wavered. He's an amazing person. He got bronchitis, but he always gets sick right after a show opens. All the stress gets his immune system down, I guess.

So, he did all this work. And for what? Nothing really. Every night before the show started, this weird guy would get on stage and give a little speech about things, but his little speech did more harm than good. It was insulting at times, and it even poked fun at Syd's death, something everyone was trying to get over. Friday night was the night they were going to give him "the award". It was a nice little glass thing and a gift certificate for him and my grandma to go to dinner.

My grandpa is a very nice person. He is not selfish at all. That's why he does all this volunteer directing. Even so, his thoughts on the matter were "Next time you're going to give someone an award, make a show for them. Don't make them do the show for their own award."

I just don't understand how this experience constitutes an award. Especially since UVSC just announced they are going to be doing Little Mary Sunshine this spring semester. That's like a slap in the face. Why did they ask my grandpa to do all that work for that specific show if they're just going to do it themselves? But anyway...

The Ragan Theater Showcase Award: an opportunity for UVSC to get free publicity using people who the community loves and appreciates.

*On a happier note, the SCERA just gave my grandpa the "star of the year" award. Now that is an award he deserves and was presented in a very nice manner. It still embarrasses him a little, but that's because he doesn't like attention. I love my grandpa!!

Aspirations

One of the coolest things to do at work is glue labels inside violins. That is an extremely weird thing for me to say, because on the outside it looks all mundane, boring, nerdy...I don't know. But I like it! You ask me why? Why do I like gluing labels on the inside of violins? I'll tell you-but first, I'll explain the process of gluing in a label.

First, you take the label, put glue on it, and then you put it on this curved metal thing. Then, you take the curved metal thing and put it inside the little holes that are shaped like Fs, making sure you don't get glue all over the outside of your nice new GEII violin. Third, you take another instrument (not a musical instrument) that is maybe something like a straight metal thing and you work the label off metal thing #1 with metal thing #2. Does this make sense? No, I didn't think it would. The last thing you do is take the flat part of metal thing #1 and smooth the label so it doesn't have any bubbles in it or anything.

Ok. Now you know how to put a label inside a violin. The reason why I like doing this is because I'm pretty sure I want to be an orothodontist or a dentist, and this process is kind of like doing things that dentists would do. Actually, one time I was gluing labels and metal thing #1 was actually the little mirror that dentists use to look inside your mouth with! It was so cool! It's like practicing to be a dentist, but I'm practicing on a violin! Wow, I'm really weird. And now you know.

Grin and bear it

There are going to be times in life when you meet someone you don't like. That's inevitable, I guess. But sometimes, at least for me, it's hard to keep what I feel inside and not let it show. Telling how you really feel about these people is probably not the best road to take, however.

I guess this is kind of like saying nice things about people whether your microphone is on or not, but it's more than just saying nice things. Telling people how you feel about others can alter that person's view of you. If you're always saying rude things about people and stuff, everyone will think that you are a mean person. You don't want people to think you're mean if that's not really how you are.

Lately, I have been having a problem with keeping my feelings of others inside me. But I'm trying! Really! It's just hard when that person turns up everywhere I am...but I just think how I would feel if people were saying mean things about me to others. That would make me feel bad. In order to keep people's self confidence up, let's be nice all the time! If you're mad, just...pretend you're not.

My Dream Man

Recently, I have been thinking alot about qualities I want in a future husband. I've been thinking about this because...I just have been. Anyway.

I don't think I'm shallow, but I like guys to be tall. I like tall guys because it's just nice not to be the same height as, or taller than, everyone else. So it's fun to be with people who are taller than you.

I want him to have a sense of humor. Granted, not everything should be funny, but it's nice to laugh and have fun alot, keep things light.

It is important for a guy to have respect for me. I appreciate respect because, hey-girls just deserve respect. When someone respects you, it just makes it that much better and more fun. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone who doesn't respect me. I'm not just talking about the whole opening doors thing, but just respect in general.

Well those are a few qualities that I like in guys. I don't know what else to say...I'm still thinking about this one. And I probably always will be.

Whether your microphone is on or not...

Last week, we (as a cast) had a little...problem. Actually, this problem had been going on since the beginning of our run. The problem was a person. I'm sure this person's a good man, but he had been saying some things that were a little insulting and without tact to our director, who also happens to be my grandpa. He was saying these things in front of a theater full of people, trying to be funny, but they just didn't come across as funny. The comments hurt. But that's kinda beside the point.

We had all been talking about this man in the dressing rooms, saying how much we wished he wouldn't say those things. We just wanted him to shut up, to put it quite bluntly. I know those things weren't good to say, but we still said them to each other. Anyway, a member of our cast, Oscar, went to do mic check on closing night, and he was saying things about this man that were rather rude. The man's son was up in the sound booth, and it made him feel really bad to hear those type of things about his father. Oscar felt bad after he realized what had happened, and I'm sure he regretted those words, but regret is not the point.

None of us girls knew what had happened. We were in the dressing room, talking about this guy, when Ernestine (who had already heard this story) said, "Remember guys, everyone can hear everything you say when your microphone is on." We all sat there and thought, "That's a given, but...most of us don't even have microphones."

When I finally heard what had transpired I realized why Ernestine said what she did. It got me thinking...the point is not that we need to be nice and friendly when everyone can hear what we say, but when no one can hear what we say as well. It made me feel bad that I have this kind of mentality sometimes, and I'm not always as kind as I should be. It made me feel horrible! Even if we're thinking things that might be kind of rude, we definitely don't need to make our feelings known. In fact, we should do all we can to have good feelings and not think negatively. It's hard sometimes. It's hard all of the time, actually. But all I know is that I'm going to try my best to do the right thing....whether or not my mic is on.

Letting go

No matter who we are, no matter what we do in life, there will come a time when we need to let go of something dear to us. It could be a person, an acitvity, or a state of mind. We always know these things need to be let go, it's just hard when it comes right down to it.

One of the hardest things about letting go is the fact that you have been so used to having that thing around. When someone close to us passes away, there is the realization that we will never see that person again in this life. We become so used to having them around, and when they aren't here anymore, it's shocking.

Memories we have of the deceased become the only way to remember them. If we dwell on the fact that they're gone, though, it takes longer to get over the understanding that they are no longer with us. We need to remember them with fondess-remembering fun times that we've shared with them is a good way to keep memories alive, but focusing on their death is not the way to go about things.

It's hard to let go of anything that we're used to, but it needs to be done as soon as possible in order to eliminate alot of pain. I'm not saying we shoudn't mourn, but there is a place and a time for mourning and a time for being happy for what you do have, and what you have been able to have.

Forest Ranger's rules and regulations

“...and Forest Rangers-being the good looking dogs that they are-must necessarily associate with young ladies of comparable appearance. It’s one of the Forest Ranger’s unwritten laws.”

Thank goodness the guys of the latest show know the unwritten laws regarding women and just plain fun. But why can’t the forest rangers study some of the written laws?...like their scripts. Whoever heard of waiting until one week before opening to start memorizing your lines? Or to start learning your blocking and choreography? But the forest ranger’s haven’t been worried about that stuff up until this point. All the guys are into is having fun.

Rehearsal/shows are not about having fun. They're about putting on a show, telling a story. Sometimes a show can be fun, but it isn’t about fun. It’s alright to have a good time while at rehearsal. You should have a good time. Sometimes, it’s even okay to goof off a little bit. You’ve gotta make things interesting. But you’ve also got to know when to work, when to pay attention, when to be serious. It seems our forest rangers are having trouble knowing when to calm down. That is what’s making rehearsals so long and difficult. Anyway, I know that we’ll pull it together soon. (It’s one of the Forest Ranger’s unwritten laws.)