One time...in Costa Vida...

I'm considering renaming my blog "Egocentric Speech", because that's what it is. I love posting random things no one (but me) cares about. Here is another one of those things. For some reason, this facebook thread is cracking me up.


PS: If you want to read it, you have to click on it. And if you don't get it, or think I'm weird, don't blame me--it's your fault for reading this blog. But I know that two years from now I'm going to read this post and think, oh my gosh, that was the most hilarious thing. So there.

How I met his mother

So, when we were talking to SCs family last night I realized that the story is kinda funny, and I really need to write it down. Of course, what better place to write a funny story than my blog? I hope you all can share in the joys of my life.

It was a fine September afternoon. One of my TELL classes was canceled, which was fine with me because that meant 2 1/2 hours of extra time! With that extra time I decided to go to Curves. I got there and started on the circuit, completely absorbed in my own little world. I remember that I was reflecting on the most recent chapter of my life and looking at any room for improvement.

Then a man walked in the door. It was like the most exciting thing that happened that day! I mean, it's not that men NEVER come into Curves, but it is uncommon. I was intrigued, so I watched as a woman who was on the circuit went to greet her husband and exchange keys with him, or something. It was a good way to break up the monotony.

After I finished, I was stretching when the same woman (the one with the husband) leaned over to me. This is the conversation.

Sister C: You are so cute!
Me: This happens all the time...Thanks!
Sister C: Are you in high school?
Me: Do I really look like I'm still in high school? Sad! No, I'm a junior at BYU.
Sister C: Oh, do you have a boyfriend?
Me: I see where this is going...No, I don't.
Sister C: Well I have this son-his name is SC-he just got home from a mission in January. He's really nice and quiet and tall. I want to set you guys up!
Me: Sweet! This is great!! That sounds good.
Sister C: Oh perfect. He's at UVU on scholarship studying aviation...
Me: Uh oh...a pilot?!! Awesome!

Seriously, even though he likes to fly, it's been great. He started texting me a few days later and the rest, as they say, is history.

Maybe one of you thought that was funny. I think it is. I have the best Curves Success Story ever!

Sunday night visiting

Yesterday after ward prayer Erin mentioned she was going to visit Mountainwood, and would I like to come? Of course I said yes! So we hopped in her car and drove the short distance. When we arrived at Mountainwood, there were no parking spots, so Erin parked in the Moby Dick house lot, saying confidently, "Cookie won't tow me!"

Erin went to visit her friends and I called Alice. We had a very joyful reunion in the parking lot, then we went to the apartment, did the dishes, and talked. It was wonderful! I love talking to Alice because 1. She speaks English and 2. I can be completely honest and open and she understands! I miss talking with Alice, and I miss standing on the balcony yelling peoples names. I also miss having a normal relationship with Thayne. After we did the dishes we decided to go visit the girls in 208 because we could hear they were doing karaoke.

Alice threw open the door to apartment 208 and exclaimed, "Look! It's Natalie!" But as the door swung open, it revealed Thayne sitting on the couch. As soon as he saw me both our faces turned red and he exclaimed, "Oh, shoot! Um...I have to go!" To which I replied, "No, don't worry about it. We'll go." So apparently we can't even be in the same room anymore.

We went back to 214 and started making an alphabet list-we love doing this. The letter J consistently wins, by far. We talked some more, but it was getting late so eventually Erin and I left.

As we walked down the stairs, we saw a tow truck enter the parking lot. This is the conversation that took place.

Erin: Alice! There's a tow truck! Warn the people!!
Alice: I don't know anyone! I don't know whose car it is!
Me: Erin, that's OUR CAR!!
Erin: NO!!!
Alice: RUN!
Erin: I CAN'T! MY ANKLE IS SPRAINED! NATALIE, GO!
Me: I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
Erin: TAKE MY KEYS! GET THE CAR!

So Erin gave me her keys and I started running to Moby Dick. The tow truck was backing up and lowering the thing to take the car away, so I did some crazy ducking move to get between the truck and the fence, ran to the car ("ERIN! ARE YOU FROM WISCONSIN?!) and tried frantically to open the door.

At this point, the tow truck driver realized his evil plans had been thwarted so he just drove away. It was way funny. And perfect timing.

My funny story for the day

Okay, well I wasn't planning on blogging about this because I think it's embarrassing, but I feel like I have a pretty good handle on who reads my blog and I figured that most of you know everything about me anyway...there's really no chance you will think less of me for anything I post. So here I go.

On Tuesdays I have to go straight from the MTC to class but, let's be honest, I do not want to wear a skirt all day. So I just bring pants and shoes, change at work, and arrive on campus all incognito (me, work at the MTC? Noooo)! But today as soon as I got to work I realized that I forgot socks. There was no way I was going to wear tennis shoes without socks alllll day because I hate not wearing socks!

After a fair amount of whining and complaining, I reviewed my options with Katie and Heather. I had three choices: A) Buy a three pack of those white socks with the pink toes that would probably go up to my calf, and probably be so thick my shoes wouldn't fit B) Wear my tights all day/buy knee highs, and C) Buy one pair of blue men's dress socks.

Okay well I really didn't want the white socks because what would I do with three pairs of those things?! The only time I wear tights under jeans is when I'm on my way to a show or clogging competition, and I didn't want to make any new memories that might interfere with those old ones, so yes, I bought and then wore men's dress socks all day, until I finally got home at 7:30 PM. I felt ridiculous but comforted myself with the knowledge that no one could even see my socks. And now you, dear readers, know of my sock drama. Never again!

But the comforting thing of the day: last week my RMYL class made up rhymes for everyone's name so we would remember people better. The rhyme my group chose for me is this: Natalieeee...is sexyyyyy. And that's definitely what people call me now. That class is a constant confidence boost. They definitely couldn't tell I was wearing men's socks :)

More adventures from Apt. 214

Okay, so I already mentioned that I was looking through all the pictures on my computer and found some random ones. Well, here is another random blog...about my random pictures (photos courtesy of Suzanne).

So it was January, I think. We had just attended a fun FHE in the RB. We were all in Suzanne's car and when we pulled into the Mountainwood parking lot, we noticed our home teachers Thayne and Ben had not yet arrived at home. We thought it would be hilarious if we parked in Thayne's parking spot because he would come roaring into the lot in his huge truck, find his spot taken, be mad, then we would all jump out of the car and be like, "Surpise! We parked in your spot, hahaha." Or something like that.

So Suzanne parked and we ducked down and hid. And hid, and hid, and still we were hiding. Every time we saw headlights we would get scared and peek out to see if it was Thayne coming. It never was.

But we kept hiding.

Eventually we had waited so long that we were getting bored. We decided to call Ben and ask where the heck they were and if they were coming home soon. I was the designated caller. When Ben picked up I tried to be all cool.

Me: "Hey Ben, I was just wondering...where are you guys? Are you coming home soon?"
Ben: "Well, we stopped at a friend's house for a bit. Why? Is everything okay?
*Now, pretty sure I had just been through a breakup at this time...so I didn't want Ben to think I was having an emotional breakdown or something, because I didn't want them to worry*
Me [really awkwardly]: "Yeah, everything's fine, I just...wanted to talk to you...I'm not like having an emotional breakdown but...I just wanted to talk...?"

Ben apparently misheard what I actually said and instead heard this: "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. I AM HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. COME HOME NOW." So he started to get really worried and insisted that they were leaving their friends' house that instant to come talk to me. Then I started to feel even more like an idiot so I made either Suzanne or Alice take the phone and explain what we had attempted to do. We felt kinda lame, but at least we got pictures out of it! Right?

Okay this was a really long, verbose, and boring post.

Wardrobe malfunction

Through the years, my sisters and I have had multiple opportunities to have costume tribulations. I was just thinking about one that I will attempt to relate...

We were in Oklahoma! at the Shell. One night of the run, our friend was really ill so he went to lay down backstage. Karly and I went to talk to him. We sat back to back on the ground next to him and spoke for a while. Soon Karly had to leave, so she tried to stand up. We didn't know it, but I was sitting on Karly's dress. When she stood up, the whole bottom half of her dress ripped off at the waistline. So we quickly fixed it up with safety pins and she wore it that way for the rest of the run. Awkward.

Woodbadge

Last Sunday, my family and I went to visit Grandpa Murray. We were sitting around the table talking, and my dad asked me if I would get him a cup of water. Being the obedient and respectful daughter that I am, I went into the kitchen and filled up a mug-my favorite mug, in fact.

I brought the cup to my dad and said, "Here Dad. I even put your water in my very favorite cup-the cup I use every time I get a drink at Grandpa Murray's." Dad took one look at the cup and said, "Oh, no. You haven't been to woodbadge. You can't use this cup."

I was so distraught. Of course I argued my case, but my dad said, "You can't use this cup if you can't sing the woodbadge song." Having never been to woodbadge, I do not know the song, of course. Although I definitely tried. My woodbadge song was amazing, and I thought it might have fooled me dad, but no.

I sat there all sad and forlorn for awhile before remembering who is really in charge of that cup-and who would do anything for his granddaughter. So I turned to Grandpa and said, "Grandpa, can I please drink out of the woodbadge cup?" And he said, "Yes, dear, whatever you would like."

Haha. Now that is the way to do things. Also, Grandpa let us eat sour cream fudge. Yum.

Another confession

If you didn't love me before, you probably should after hearing this story ;)
So, this picture...I don't know where it came from. Abby found it online, and it struck a chord in the depths of her heart, because one day...

It was years ago. I don't know how old we were, but we were young. I was vacuuming (like a good little girl) with our new, intense Kirby vacuum. Abby came up to me and said, "Nat! Vacuum my toes!" So...I did.

We laugh about it now, but back then...I sure did get in trouble.

Infinity plus Texas, please.

This is what happens when you sit next to two crazy boys in an American Heritage lecture (in case you were wondering, that's me on the top playing the harmonica and hula hooping while petting a giraffe. Because I'm tall enough to pet giraffes).

And I just remembered something funny that happened to me (oh, my life is full of awkward moments, I think). A couple of weeks ago in my elementary skills and activities class (great class, btw, if you like being treated like you're 7 years old. No, I really do like that class. It's fun), we were practicing cues for locomotor activities like running, skipping, galloping, etc. We were practicing leaping, and my teacher told us to think of an animal. The first animal that came to my mind was an octopus...don't ask me why. Then our teacher told us to leap like that animal. Everyone was leaping like gazelles, mountain lions, cougars, etc. And then there was me. Leaping like an octopus. I don't even know HOW that's possible.

Just play it cool

So, the most embarrassing/hilarious thing just happened to me. Please join me in my humilation. And insane laughter.

We're getting new carpet on our stairs. I came home after the carpet installer had started working. Just our luck, he's kinda crazy. He's just working on the stairs, whistling away a happy tune. I went into the kitchen to get some pizza. When he entered the kitchen, he shouted, "Wow! You're tall! You MUST be a basketball player!!!" Now, this was probably not the best thing he could've said to me to start off with. But I tried to be polite, telling him that I don't play basketball, but I do like to dance and play the piano, etc. You know, my standard response. It was definitely given through gritted teeth, however.

So I tried to make polite conversation for just a minute, and at the first possible opportunity I escaped into the family room. Just my luck, it's in clear view from the stairs where he was working. Of course I somehow totally tripped over the vacuum cord. My mom and I burst out laughing. Really, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. This lasted for about five minutes before the carpet installer yelled out, "Well, now I can see why you don't play basketball".

Oh, sometimes people are just so full of tact.

Culloden III and...a compliment?

For State Festival in 2007, our Wind Symphony played a piece called Culloden III (interesting sidenote about Culloden: it has a section in it that's called "Ye hag, ye've gone and kil't me!". Also, it produced this funny poem from Mr. Bowman: "My bonny lass, she doesn't smell. She bakes good bread, and is really good to me". Okay, it was really funny at the time).

ANYway, there is a part in Culloden where the oboe and Eb clarinet get to play a little duet (is it just me, or did that rhyme?). Of course, I got the privilege of playing the Eb clarinet. Because I love having my own little solos and duets and such.

Now, the Eb clarinet I had to play on was weird. It was old, the keys were bent funny and pads were falling off right and left, and the reeds were old and hard and just lame. But let's be honest: it wasn't all the clarinet's fault. I just wasn't very good at playing that baby clarinet.

Anyway, we went to state, played our song, Matt and I played our duet, and I thought it went fairly well. You know, it was okay.

A week or two later in band, we were listening to the tapes of the judges listening to and critiquing our performance. I was nervous to hear what the judge had to say about our little gem of a duet. We got to that part of the music. Matt and I held our breath, waiting to hear what the judge would say. Finally...

"Well...yeah, that's good. You're supposed to sound like bagpipes there. So you're supposed to sound out of tune. Good job!"

Uh...thank you?

Twice upon a time...

These two experiences just popped into my head, and I'll be honest: I have no idea why I'm blogging about them. Well, it'll be a good memory exercise-I have a hard time separating the two days in my head. We'll see what happens.

Experience One
Once upon a February night, Hannah, Holly, Noelle (I put the names in alphabetical order. Look at me!) and I decided to go to Fazoli's. It was good, but they gave us too many breadsticks. Being the resourceful girls that we are, Holly suggested that we take the breadsticks to Kendall at the Scera, because we were on our way to see SYT's production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. So we put the breadsticks in my purse (which, by the way, was a mistake, because my purse smelled like garlic for a loooong time). Holly had to go to work, so we bid her adieu and headed over to the Scera. Actually...I think we went to Liz and Claire's house just to say hi first. I'm not sure.

So, we got to the Scera and enjoyed their rendition of Joseph. It was cute. We got some great dance moves, which later appeared in our movie Casterbridge, which will be discussed later.

After the play, we decided to visit Holly at Jamba Juice. We got there and they were playing Cascada. We requested "Everytime We Touch" and proceeded to have a "stick dance" party in the middle of Jamba Juice. It was tres exciting. Aaaand we probably looked weird. After a little bit, this kid came in and said, "Hey, did you know there's a stake dance going on?" so we got the address from him and crashed a random stake dance. It was great.

Experience Two
This was a couple weeks later...maybe the next week. I'm not sure. I can't even remember how this night started. My memory starts with us randomly showing up at Thom's house, telling him we were on the "Snowman Judging Committee" and we paid him a dollar for his snowman because there was no snow on the ground, just a random snowman. We then proceeded to drive around Orem, find houses that still had standing snowmen, and we paid them. We even had to put someone's snowman back together, because it had fallen over.

Wait...now I remember how this evening began. Noelle and I were going to Justin's party, so we got glowsticks (I don't know why) and got BreeAnne, then went to Justin's house but they were just playing the Wii so we didn't stay long. THEN we went to Thom's house. One of the glowsticks broke all over the backseat of Noelle's car, but we didn't know so at first glance it looked like there was radioactive material all over. It was funny.

Then we went to Hannah's house and talked, and came up with a brilliant idea for a movie. First we just wanted extra credit from Jonesy, but our idea quickly evoloved into a complete dance interpretation of "The Mayor of Casterbridge".

Yep, that's it. I know, random, and not too exciting.

Oh, I have tact.

The following scene takes place somewhere backstage Disneyland. In a dressing room right behind Toon Town, I believe.

The Background: We were going to perform sometime in the early afternoon, so we had all morning to ride the rides and play around. We didn't want to wear nice clothes as we were doing the "Natalie Run" around Disneyland, so we all brought our concert dress in suitbags that we left on the bus. To make things more convenient, I had used only one hanger. I put my white dress shirt on the hanger with my band jacket over it. Magnificent.

At the appropriate time, we all gathered around our little tour guide (who just happened to be Tinkerbell, thanks Lyon) and made our way backstage.

There was another performing group back there. They were these adorable Grandma tap dancers. They seemed really fun (I mean, we didn't really talk to them at all. But we saw them). They were for real tap dancers, which means they were pretty much wearing only leotards and tights and tap shoes. But they looked super cute. You can probably picture it.

So after Tink's little spiel, we all moseyed into the dressing room with our suitbags. Time to change. The Grandma tap dancers were spread throughout the dressing room, so we kinda squeezed in there and I started to unpack my clothes.

Where the story gets good (AKA I am amazing at this thing called tact): (I really hope you can all picture this scene. Remember, my friends and I surrounded by quite a few older women who are changing.) (Also please remember I am slightly OCD about ironing my clothes.) So I unzipped my suitbag, pulled my jacket/shirt off the hanger, then pulled my shirt out of my jacket. It was super wrinkly and deformed. Of course I was distraught about this. I turned to my friends, forgot to think before I spoke, and exclaimed, "Ew! It's like...morbidly wrinkly!"

As the place got a little bit quiet, I desperately tried to save myself. "My shirt, I mean! My shirt is super wrinkly!" But it was no use, and I was embarrassed. Then we left the dressing room and told everyone what I had done.

All in all, it was a good day.

A vacuum story.

Once upon a time, in the land of many languages (MTC bookstore) we had a vacuum. His name was Henry. He was young and cute and had a face. Everyone loved Henry, but he was hard to manage. One day Henry died. We don't know how it happened. So we had to start using a different vacuum cleaner. The new vacuum wasn't as young or as cute as Henry, and he didn't have a face either. Plus he was loud and grumpy sounding. But he has proven himself in the past few weeks. He's easier to manage, and he does a great job of cleaning.

We named him Horace.

Hm. Kinda funny.

Tonight we were watching Newsies, and Nathan and Nicole came over. I do love them.

I decided I wanted some peach (not pink) sherbet, so I went into the kitchen to get myself a bit (Now, lately I have been having the same problem I had in Nauvoo, but today it was so much worse. I have been dropping everything. Frustrating).

I tried getting the ice cream lid off. It fell on the floor. I picked it up and started scooping my ice cream. It fell on the table. When I picked up the ice cream, I knocked my spoon to the ground. Then some more ice cream fell on the table. I am not exaggerating. So, I was a little bit annoyed.

In my frustration, I muttered-well, more like angrily shouted (okay not shouted, but almost), "I just have a bad life!" *disclaimer: I do not really believe this to be true. I love my life, but I was a little mad at the time*

"Oh, whatever!" Nicole called to me (in a nice way, not an annoyed way).

Nathan looked over at me, his kind, loving, brotherly face covered with concern. "What? You think you have a bad life?"

"No!" Nicole laughed. "She thinks she's going to be a bad wife."

I love you, Nicole. That made my life perfect. Seriously, hilarious.

I guess I really am Asian

Date: June 8th
Time: 7:30 AM
Location: Elevator; Residence Inn; Anaheim, CA
Main characters: Me, Asian twins (girls, about one year old)
Supporting actors: Asian grandparents, Asian mother

So, one bright and cold morning, I decided to voyage down to the breakfast area. I was by myself, not a big deal, but my elevator stopped on the 5th floor. Again, no big deal. 5 people got on, with two very cute Asian twins. They (the babies) were kinda toddling around the elevator. Eventually (within 5 seconds) they started babbling to me in their native tongue. They were cute, so clearly I had to converse with them. I waved, and smiled, and said stuff like, "Hi! Hello!" in a baby voice, you know. All too soon, our elevator reached the main level. As the twins made their way out of the elevator, their mother turned to me and said, "They were calling you 'Auntie'".

...I'm Asian? That brings our total to 3 lovely people who have mistaken my nationality for Asian. Not like there's anything wrong with that, Mark has me totally convinced of the awesomeness of Asians.

Four gals and a guy

Tonight I will divulge a musical talent (it's not really a talent. It's a bad habit) that I have acquired. But first, I will tell a story.

The year was 2004. My piano team and I were frantically preparing for a big 5 piano competition thing. Day after day, week after week we met and practiced our songs again and again. (Well, okay-we weren't really "frantically preparing". We were pretty darn apathetic. But I digress.) So anyway. We were having fun, because, let's face it: You get Natalie, Natalie, Sarah, Jennifer, and Nathan into a room all playing the piano at the same time-it can only turn out to be hilarious, right?

Anyway, every piano lesson was an adventure-but one thing was certain: Nathan always played as loud and as fast as he could. It was so funny.

Well we won our competition. Yay.

After that competition, Nathan stopped taking lessons. (Thanks a lot, Nate.) Now whenever we had a 5 piano practice, we all missed Nate insanely. So, gradually, I adopted his playing style.

Isn't that horrible?!

(Don't worry-I can play normally when I want to, but my default setting is now as loud and fast as possible!)

Another random memory

I just remembered this the other day, when my sisters were talking about it. It's one of their favorite memories of our vacation.

Setting: outside the gates at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Year: 2005
Main characters: Security guard and Random Woman

So, there we are outside the gates, taking pictures and just looking in awe at the White House (I mean, the President is in there. Too cool.), when we notice something moving in the bushes on the other side of the gate. Upon close inspection, we realize it is a big, burly guy (probably full of true grit) who is holding a big machine gun, just standing there looking scary. This slightly scares my younger sisters, but my dad clarifies that he's just there guarding the grounds, making sure nothing happens to the president. He also says that there's probably guys like that hiding all over. Plus, we've all seen Dave, so we knew that security guards are really cool guys named Duane who just look scary because they can't wear sweaters, which make their necks look too big, but they might try wearing sweater vests once in a while. ****

And onto the story.

As we're gazing at the White House, imagining the President in there is not George Bush, but really Kevin Kline, who is just impersonating the President and getting away with it-even fooling the first lady-we notice a little bit of commotion to our right. So, we walk down a little bit, and we see a Random Woman approaching the gate. "Excuse me!" she calls. "Excuse me, sir!" Her face is now kinda poked in between the bars of the security fence, that's made to look like decoration. The security guard retains his composure, but he's probably thinking, 'Who is this Random Woman that is talking to me?'

RW proceeds to ask him questions about what he is doing there, what he's holding, and why. I don't think the awesome security guard really answered, he probably just grunted and nodded a little bit. But then, she started asking him for directions to the nearest metro station. We thought that was a little weird. Apparently, so did the security guard, who retreated a little farther into the shadows. I don't exactly think you're supposed to strike up conversations with those guys. But that might just be me.

****
Dave: You ever think about wearing a sweater? Make you blend in more.
Duane: Sweaters make my neck look too thick.
Dave: Even a sweater vest? You could wear a tie.
Duane: You think a sweater vest would look good on me?

(Everyone should watch Dave!)

Random memory #1

(This is the first of what will probably turn out to be lots of random stories.)

Year: 2004
Setting: SCERA Shell
Main characters: Evan, Natalie (me), dippin dots worker

Once upon a time, a couple of years ago, I was in the musical "Oklahoma!". Evan was my small friend. He was a very funny little boy.

Well, one day right after cast meeting, Even decided he wanted some dippin dots. So, Evan and I changed out of our costumes (or maybe we hadn't changed into them yet-I can't remember) and we trekked to the top of the hill to buy him some ice cream. We stood in line for a minute, chatted with some of the other people who were in line, and finally, Evan got to the front of the line, ordered his dippin dots, and we left.

When we got backstage, Evan turned to me with a horrified look on his face, held out his clenched fist, and said, "Natalie, I forgot to pay." It was very funny, actually. How do you just forget to pay?

So, being the honest person that I am, I trekked back up the hill, went to the dippin dots girl, and said, "My little brother forgot to pay for his dippin dots." (Ok, so that was a bit of a lie, but to tell the whole story would have taken too long). I felt dumb though, because the girl just looked at me like I was from Mars. Maybe I had too much stage makeup on, but I digress. It was just very awkward. Here I was, trying to do the right thing, and I got treated like some sort of freak. Oh well. The end.

(See, that was pretty random, wasn't it?)