"If I don't seem to need help, it is because I have a better friend even than Father to comfort and sustain me. My child, the troubles and temptations of your life are beginning, and may be many; but you can overcome and outlive them all if you learn to feel the strength and tenderness of your Heavenly Father as you do that of your earthly one. The more you love and trust him, the nearer you will feel to him, and the less you will depend on human power and wisdom. His love and care never tire or change, can never be taken from you, but may become the source of lifelong peace, happiness, and strength. Believe this heartily, and go to God with all your little cares, and hopes, and sins, and sorrows, as freely and confidingly as you come to your mother."
"You may, for a little while, have pain in this...but it will pass. And you will dismiss the recollection of it gladly, as an unprofitable dream from which it happened well that you awoke. Be happy in the life you have chosen."
So last night I was reading through my journal which documents the past year and a half and it was really interesting to see how I have changed and grown. But there were a few lines I wrote in all seriousness that crack me up reading them in retrospect. I don't know if it's simply because of the perspective I've gained or if it's just because I'm crazy, but...I was surprised at the weird stuff I've said. I will share a few examples. Please, understand that these example are not what my whole journal sounds like. Sometimes I say things that make sense and are very dear to my heart.
1. I don't know if the intent of the email was "sorry I kissed you-I shouldn't have because I don't like you" or "sorry I've been stupid lately-don't 'forget about me".
2. PS: Today I scooped ice cream and sold Scope to Elder Groberg and his wife. It was cool.
3. I can't believe I'm feeling this way. Alice says it's something in the air...it does stuff to people.
4. Today John broke up with me in the middle of the Cougareat. It was awkward...obviously.
And the last quote isn't by me, it's by Gideon...but I sure did tape it into my journal. I wish you could see his awesome handwriting, but you'll have to imagine it.
5. "Have fun in the journey. Make friends, build and strengthen these friendships. Along the way, you'll find that one of these friends means more to you, and that you are inseparable from him. This "glue" comes from the journey, not by packing shoe goo on every date."
...but unfortunately, sometimes they do. I don't think I will ever be able to recreate the expression that is on my face. This is an example of A. The random pictures I have on my computer and B. The random things we do for fun. I seriously have the best friends ever, because when I'm with them I can be myself. But I can also pretend to be different people...like a pregnant woman.
Okay, well I wasn't planning on blogging about this because I think it's embarrassing, but I feel like I have a pretty good handle on who reads my blog and I figured that most of you know everything about me anyway...there's really no chance you will think less of me for anything I post. So here I go.
On Tuesdays I have to go straight from the MTC to class but, let's be honest, I do not want to wear a skirt all day. So I just bring pants and shoes, change at work, and arrive on campus all incognito (me, work at the MTC? Noooo)! But today as soon as I got to work I realized that I forgot socks. There was no way I was going to wear tennis shoes without socks alllll day because I hate not wearing socks!
After a fair amount of whining and complaining, I reviewed my options with Katie and Heather. I had three choices: A) Buy a three pack of those white socks with the pink toes that would probably go up to my calf, and probably be so thick my shoes wouldn't fit B) Wear my tights all day/buy knee highs, and C) Buy one pair of blue men's dress socks.
Okay well I really didn't want the white socks because what would I do with three pairs of those things?! The only time I wear tights under jeans is when I'm on my way to a show or clogging competition, and I didn't want to make any new memories that might interfere with those old ones, so yes, I bought and then wore men's dress socks all day, until I finally got home at 7:30 PM. I felt ridiculous but comforted myself with the knowledge that no one could even see my socks. And now you, dear readers, know of my sock drama. Never again!
But the comforting thing of the day: last week my RMYL class made up rhymes for everyone's name so we would remember people better. The rhyme my group chose for me is this: Natalieeee...is sexyyyyy. And that's definitely what people call me now. That class is a constant confidence boost. They definitely couldn't tell I was wearing men's socks :)
Okay, so I already mentioned that I was looking through all the pictures on my computer and found some random ones. Well, here is another random blog...about my random pictures (photos courtesy of Suzanne).
So it was January, I think. We had just attended a fun FHE in the RB. We were all in Suzanne's car and when we pulled into the Mountainwood parking lot, we noticed our home teachers Thayne and Ben had not yet arrived at home. We thought it would be hilarious if we parked in Thayne's parking spot because he would come roaring into the lot in his huge truck, find his spot taken, be mad, then we would all jump out of the car and be like, "Surpise! We parked in your spot, hahaha." Or something like that.
So Suzanne parked and we ducked down and hid. And hid, and hid, and still we were hiding. Every time we saw headlights we would get scared and peek out to see if it was Thayne coming. It never was. But we kept hiding. Eventually we had waited so long that we were getting bored. We decided to call Ben and ask where the heck they were and if they were coming home soon. I was the designated caller. When Ben picked up I tried to be all cool. Me: "Hey Ben, I was just wondering...where are you guys? Are you coming home soon?" Ben: "Well, we stopped at a friend's house for a bit. Why? Is everything okay? *Now, pretty sure I had just been through a breakup at this time...so I didn't want Ben to think I was having an emotional breakdown or something, because I didn't want them to worry* Me [really awkwardly]: "Yeah, everything's fine, I just...wanted to talk to you...I'm not like having an emotional breakdown but...I just wanted to talk...?" Ben apparently misheard what I actually said and instead heard this: "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. I AM HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN. COME HOME NOW." So he started to get really worried and insisted that they were leaving their friends' house that instant to come talk to me. Then I started to feel even more like an idiot so I made either Suzanne or Alice take the phone and explain what we had attempted to do. We felt kinda lame, but at least we got pictures out of it! Right?
Okay this was a really long, verbose, and boring post.
So I was browsing through all the pictures on my computer looking for a new "Picture of the Week" and I found the folder of Turtlenog pictures from last Christmas! Enough time has passed now that I can look at these photos with fondness and amusement. I will now post two of the aforementioned pictures.
Picture #1
I love this picture for mainly two reasons...Reason #1: John's head is floating (his turtlenog sweater was the same color as the backdrop). Reason #2: Santa looks way creepy. It's like..."Merry Christmas Natalie, I am about to kidnap you". The way his hands are all jazz hands-y is just a little weird!
Picture #2 I love this picture because our faces are just classic. "Merry Christmas old building and loan! Merry Christmas Mr. Potter!"
I really wish that Alice and I had taken pictures together at the turtlenog party! I do remember that we did an awesome version of our high school musical dance for everyone! We totally rocked that karaoke party. Since we didn't take any pictures together at the party, I will post pictures of us studying for finals...during Christmas time.
Okay, okay...so maybe sometimes we got distracted while studying and ended up using our feet as telephones...yeah I don't really know how that happened. It was a pretty great Christmas season, though. Let me tell you! Alice...if you can hear me...I love you I miss you oh baby oh baby Ikissyoubye.
"To outsiders, the five energetic women seemed to rule the house, and so they did in many things; but the quiet scholar, sitting among his books, was still the head of the family, the household conscience, anchor, and comforter, for to him the busy, anxious women always turned in troublous times, finding him, in the truest sense of the sacred words, husband and father.
The girls gave their hearts into their mother's keeping, their souls into their father's; and to both parents, who lived and laboured so faithfully for them, they gave a love that grew with their growth, and bound them tenderly together by the sweetest tie which blesses lives and outlives death."
I love this quote from Little Women because it describes my family...not only the physical aspect (five girls at home, one father...and besides that, we have another amazing sister and wonderful brother) but it also describes the emotional aspect of our home perfectly. No, our family is not perfect or even close, but we love each other and our parents and we are all so close. I love my family and am so grateful for each of them. I often wonder how in the world I got so lucky. I can't explain it but I can only hope to live my life in gratitude and emulation of such a home.
You may find some of my blogs to be alarming. I tend to be mildly over-dramatic and/or cryptic at times. This is due (in part) to the fact that these blogs are more for me than anyone else. So if you're ever concerned-don't be.
I frequently edit my blogs. If you read something that seems different than it was before, it probably is.
Also, I have a tendency to post blogs only to delete them a few hours later. If you read one of those posts-lucky you! I heard it described once as a "blog special".
