This is the reason I left the MTC

And I think it was a pretty good trade.

Quote of the Weekend

Completely random, older man at a wedding reception, to me: "I don't know you, but I hate you. Because you're taller than me."

Me: "Um....thanks?"

Really, what are you supposed to say to that? Whatever.

...and Elder Speakmann runs away with the matches.

Burned.

I think.

So, today at work a missionary came up to me and started a conversation. This can be really awkward. Here is our exchange. Verbatim.

Elder Speakmann: Hi.
Me: Hi.
ES: You look bored.
Me: Well...yeah. But that doesn't mean I want to have an awkward conversation with you. No offense.
ES: We're leaving soon.
Me: Where are you headed?
ES: Chile. Do you ask everyone that? How do you keep all the missionaries and where they're going straight?
Me: Well, I can't keep them straight since there are thousands of you...it's really hard to remember. I do remember some people though, those that I have had extended contact with. Like...I'll remember you, since we just had this conversation!
ES: Oh...we've actually had like two conversations before this one, though.
Me: Um....sorry.

So it was kinda awkward. But THEN! The best thing that has happened to me in months happened. Who should appear out of the South entrance but LEONARD! I love this man so, so much. Not only did he appear to save the day, he appeared with a homemade banana cream "going away" pie. Leonard came to say goodbye to me (even though he doesn't even work in the MTC anymore)!

I could not have left the MTC on a better note.

2010

As I watched the ball drop from 2009 to 2010 , I almost started crying because I felt hopeless and lost. It was not the greatest start to a new year. Later that night as I got ready for bed, I found myself wishing that it was the beginning of 2007 instead. I thought I could make so many different, better choices if I had a chance to do it again.

But then I started realizing what the consequences for changing my actions would be. For instance, one of the first things I would do differently is breaking up with Jarom. But if I had never broken up with J, I would never have dated Scott. Had I never dated S, I never would have worked at Aspen Grove that summer.

Had I missed out on the opportunity to work at Aspen Grove, I wouldn't have met Alice or Mike D. If I had never met Alice, I wouldn't have developed a great friendship, or learned how to have fun, or how to get an A in religion. I wouldn't have moved out or met any of the amazing people in the BYU 210th ward. I wouldn't have met Ben or Thayne!

If I had never met Mike D, I never would have met Mike W. And I wouldn't trade that time for the world-MW is one of the funniest people I've ever met. If I had never met MW, I wouldn't have learned how to make proper fried rice, or how to have a Tim Tam Slam!! Also, I would have delayed watching The Dark Knight (actually, that wouldn't have been so bad...)

Well, I could talk about stuff that never would have happened for hours. But as I thought through this series of my life events, I realized that, although I've definitely been through some tough times, each experience helped me grow and shape my life in amazing ways...and I love what my life is becoming. I wouldn't trade any of these experiences for the world.

So, 2010, I'm glad you're here.

Also...bring it on.

Why should we blaze a trail...

...when the well-worn path seems safe and so inviting?

I really wish I could write a blog right now. A witty, hysterical, normal blog. But I can't, because all that is in my head at the moment are questions. Questions none of you, my faithful 15, can answer. They're lame questions, too. Are any of you familiar with the musical Tick, Tick, Boom? I am assuming no. Well, the song "Louder Than Words"...those questions. Those are the questions I want answered.

Fear or love, baby? Well, I know the answer but I'm too afraid to follow through. Fear is holding me back. I think. Why? Why do I feel this way? Why am I in a really bad mood? What can I do? I don't want to hurt anyone.

"On the streets you hear the voices-lost children, crocodiles. But you're not into making choices, wicked witches, poppy fields or men behind a curtain, tiger lillies, ruby slippers, clock is ticking-that's for certain. "

THE BEST THING JUST HAPPENED

Seriously! So I was walking around Wal-Mart and guess who I passed? Like within two inches? My Asian Man who waits at the bus every morning at 7:25! I wish I would have talked to him. I tried to smile and make eye contact, because I was SO happy, but he looked the same as he always does...staring straight ahead. It was so awesome.

This one time...

Last year. Christmas time. Sunday night. It had snowed a lot. My dad put our two garbage cans out in front of our house.

It continued to snow. A lot. The next morning, my dad went out to bring the garbage cans back. But...he could only find one. Our other garbage can disappeared. We concluded that it had been stolen by the garbage man, because there was a hole in the snow where our garbage can once sat, but no tracks leading to the house, or anywhere for that matter. The garbage can was just gone.

The Evidence

For the Mills

Wow, this was forever ago...remember going to the care center like every Sunday? Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday, but then I look at the picture and see how much we've changed and wow. Crazy.